You see, when I was in middle school, one of my mom's friends asked me to babysit her son. She was going out on a date. She was recently divorced (an ugly situation - I do remember this) and seeing a guy. Her son was about one and a half years old.
Like most teenage babysitters, I enjoyed kids plus I liked making a little extra money so I agreed to do it. My mom's friend had recently moved into an apartment and her place still had quite a few unpacked boxes and she didn't have cable yet.
When I got there she was getting ready, and then as she was heading out the door, she said, When I leave, he'll get a little upset but after about 10 minutes he'll settle down. It didn't sound too alarming.
She left and sure enough he started to whine and cry by the front door. I tried to distract with toys, but he wasn't interested. I remember looking at the clock and thinking that There will only be a few more minutes of this. But, he kept crying well passed the 10 minute mark. Since the cable wasn't connected, I looked for VHS tapes in several different boxes in hopes that I could find one to play, but I had no luck. I tried singing to soothe him. Nothing worked. He just stood by the front door and sobbed. He had huge tears running down his face. My heart was broken and I was beginning to get a bit overwhelmed.
After this went on for about 45 minutes, I called my mom. She immediately heard him screaming and she asked me what was wrong. She later told to me that she thought he was hurt. I explained the situation and she suggested that I get him a snack or something to drink. Good idea! I hung up the phone and went to the kitchen. I found a snack and offered to to him but he refused. Same reaction when I tried giving him his sippy cup. I was starting to get anxious again.
The phone rang. Hoping it was his mom, I answered it immediately.
Did he stop crying yet? It was my mom. Having been at this for more than an hour, I explained that he was whining at the moment, but he did that for a little bit before he went into hysterics again. She offered to come over to help me but I told her to give me another 20 minutes to try to calm him down. She agreed but I knew she could sense the anxiety in my voice.
I was unsuccessful again, and then phone rang and I remember thinking that either 20 minutes went by really fast or my mom had grown impatient.
Did he stop yet? Was the first thing she said. Before I could answer, she must have heard him crying because she said I'll be right over.
We didn't live far so she arrived fairly quickly. I don't remember specifically what my mom did but she helped me calm him down. He finally moved away from the door and caught his breath. He had a snack and my mom helped me put him to bed in case he had another meltdown. (I have a wonderful mother by the way - you will learn this more and more as you read my blog).
She returned home about 2 hours later.
This experience really made an impression on me. It took me a while to babysit another young child again, and when I did later on, I always had this experience in the back of my head. As a mother, I fear that I may put a babysitter in the same situation.
Which brings me to the point of this post - I am a bit obsessive when it comes to leaving my kids with a babysitter for an extended amount of time, especially in the evening. Not that I am concerned for my children's well-being, but I fear the babysitter may lose her sanity if one of them has a complete meltdown for a few hours or refuses to go to bed. Even if it's a family member, I call or text within 10 minutes after we leave so that everything is ok.
Since Bean joined our family, I insist that there are two babysitters with the girls, especially if we get home after they are in bed. Bedtime can be crazy when it's just me so I do not expect someone else to go through it alone. Strength in numbers for sure.
I also leave very detailed notes. I mean, the kind that include the time of when things might occur, the food available in the house to eat, the bedtime routine pretty much step-by-step. (Ridiculous, I know.) For example, my note might say, If Noodle says she is hungry when getting ready for bed, ask her if she wants a drink of water. If she says yes, then just go in the bathroom and fill a Dixie cup with a small amount of water. She does this to stall the process.
My antics are quite embarrassing.
When I am (usually) typing out these notes, I think to myself Have I gone overboard? Generally, the consensus is yes, but then I recall that stressful and anxiety-filled evening, and power through the note-taking. In the event something were to set one of them off, the babysitters will appreciate my notes. And if they don't need all of the details, then I will be a proud mom because that means my kids behaved pretty well!
In all seriousness, I plan to have fun tonight, but that doesn't mean I won't be checking in with the babysitters a few times this evening.
Sami
Update on Wednesday night: The girls and babysitters did great. We were gone for more than 6 hours, and in that time, I only checked in 3 times. However, they did call me once, too, with a minor question.
ReplyDeleteOverall, it was a good night! Oh, and the concert was awesome! DH and I should do that more often!