My Internal Clock... And I Don't Mean Biological

It's probably a mom thing, but I have an internal stop watch. At almost any point during my awaking hours I can generally guess (within 30 minutes) the correct time even if I haven't looked at a clock in several hours.

It has taken me a few years to admit this because I think it's pretty odd, and for lack of a better term, dorky. I came to realize this "talent" more than 2 years ago.

In the winter of 2008, Noodle, DH and I would spend the dark and cold evenings after dinner in our TV room/playroom. We didn't (and still don't) have a clock in the room. We just refer to the time on the digital cable guide.

One evening, DH said to me It's probably bath time. That's his way of hinting that the bedtime routine should begin soon. Pretty confident he was a little early, I said I don't think so. It's probably only 6:30. At that time, Noodle was going to bed around 7:30-7:45. We generally started the bedtime routine around 7:00.

He gave me the look that means You wanna to bet on it? Then he said out loud What time do you think it is? I paused for a moment and pondered. Then I blurted out an exact time. I don't remember what I said, but he then clicked on the cable guide and sure enough I hit it on the money! He just looked at me and said You got lucky! So we continued to play the game during different points in the evening and he joined in with his guesses. I was almost perfect that night, and nearly every evening for the next few months during the "Guess the Time Game." DH and I are pretty competitive with each other, so it was very important to him that he beat me. He got frustrated when I won most nights.

But in all seriousness, I am pretty good at managing time because I have this internal clock that guides me. I check the time throughout the day, but I am mindful of how long tasks take, especially the ones that I do each day (serving meals, giving baths, reading books, driving to certain locations, preparing to leave the house with both kids in tow).

(This is the clock in my house that I refer to frequently.)

I was reminded of this "skill" recently when a friend of mine asked me a few questions about my bedtime routine with Noodle and Bean. She is a new mom and was struggling to get a routine and schedule that worked for her and her infant. As I thought about our schedule, particularly the evenings when I fly solo, I was reminded of how I am able to manage my time. Mostly due to the redundancy of things. But, kids can be unpredictable because of meltdowns and Noodle's inevitable bedtime stalling tactic ("I need a drink," "I am hungry," "I need a pair of socks," etc.).

I guess I consider this "internal clock" a blessing. It's helping me get through the day and to places when I am suppose to. But, that doesn't mean we aren't late or out of sync some times.

Does anyone else have an internal stop watch? Can you related at all? I'd love to hear your experiences, too.

Sami

Product Review: Summer's Deluxe Baby Bather

We own three infant bath tubs. When Noodle was an infant, we didn't like the first one we received as a shower gift (we registered for it). When she was about 4 months, we purchased a different one, which we liked a little better.

After Bean's birth, we continued to use the second one. I was never fully pleased with it because both of our daughters moved around in it a lot (as Noodle did in the first one), which made it difficult to clean the hard to reach places (neck, bottom, etc).

When walking down the aisles of Wal-mart, I saw Summer's Mother's Touch Deluxe Baby Bather (see image below). It appeared to be just what we needed so I bought it.

As you can see, the deluxe baby bather is a different type of infant "bath tub." It's made with a mildew resistant, machine washable, soft mesh material. Although it doesn't have all of the bells and whistles that the other bath tubs offer, it has made bath time much more pleasant for all of us. Bean doesn't move around, which allow us to easily clean her from head to toe. It's also holds her in a comfortable resting position with a removeable head rest. The bather can be placed in a full-size bath tub as well as a large sink. In addition, it collapses so you can travel with it and store it (unlike the large bulky plastic ones).

One thing I would like to point out is that this tub is best-suited for younger infants. Once they are sitting up well and crawling, you will need to keep a watchful eye on them. In my opinion, it's designed for newborns through 8-9 months.

I really like this bather. I have recommended it to moms and moms-to-be. It's made Bean's baths cleaner, easier and happier for all of us.

I have seen it listed at varying prices. Generally, it's priced in stores and online between $15-22. It's an affortable must-have!

Sami

On Both Sides of the Babysitter Fence

Tonight DH and I are going out. I hate to admit it, but we don't do this all that often. We will be dining at a restaurant and then going to a concert. I am excited but also full of anxiety...for the babysitters. We have two young women watching our daughters tonight. Before I go into anymore details, I am going to rewind to when I was about 14 years old...

You see, when I was in middle school, one of my mom's friends asked me to babysit her son. She was going out on a date. She was recently divorced (an ugly situation - I do remember this) and seeing a guy. Her son was about one and a half years old.

Like most teenage babysitters, I enjoyed kids plus I liked making a little extra money so I agreed to do it. My mom's friend had recently moved into an apartment and her place still had quite a few unpacked boxes and she didn't have cable yet.

When I got there she was getting ready, and then as she was heading out the door, she said, When I leave, he'll get a little upset but after about 10 minutes he'll  settle down. It didn't sound too alarming.

She left and sure enough he started to whine and cry by the front door. I tried to distract with toys, but he wasn't interested. I remember looking at the clock and thinking that There will only be a few more minutes of this. But, he kept crying well passed the 10 minute mark. Since the cable wasn't connected, I looked for VHS tapes in several different boxes in hopes that I could find one to play, but I had no luck. I tried singing to soothe him. Nothing worked. He just stood by the front door and sobbed. He had huge tears running down his face. My heart was broken and I was beginning to get a bit overwhelmed. 

After this went on for about 45 minutes, I called my mom. She immediately heard him screaming and she asked me what was wrong. She later told to me that she thought he was hurt. I explained the situation and she suggested that I get him a snack or something to drink. Good idea! I hung up the phone and went to the kitchen. I found a snack and offered to to him but he refused. Same reaction when I tried giving him his sippy cup. I was starting to get anxious again.

The phone rang. Hoping it was his mom, I answered it immediately.

Did he stop crying yet? It was my mom. Having been at this for more than an hour, I explained that he was whining at the moment, but he did that for a little bit before he went into hysterics again. She offered to come over to help me but I told her to give me another 20 minutes to try to calm him down. She agreed but I knew she could sense the anxiety in my voice.

I was unsuccessful again, and then phone rang and I remember thinking that either 20 minutes went by really fast or my mom had grown impatient.

Did he stop yet? Was the first thing she said. Before I could answer, she must have heard him crying because she said I'll be right over.

We didn't live far so she arrived fairly quickly. I don't remember specifically what my mom did but she helped me calm him down. He finally moved away from the door and caught his breath. He had a snack and my mom helped me put him to bed in case he had another meltdown. (I have a wonderful mother by the way - you will learn this more and more as you read my blog).

My mom's friend called to check in about 3 hours after she left. I didn't want to alarm her so I told her he was upset for a while but he was sleeping now.

She returned home about 2 hours later.

This experience really made an impression on me. It took me a while to babysit another young child again, and when I did later on, I always had this experience in the back of my head. As a mother, I fear that I may put a babysitter in the same situation.

Which brings me to the point of this post - I am a bit obsessive when it comes to leaving my kids with a babysitter for an extended amount of time, especially in the evening. Not that I am concerned for my children's well-being, but I fear the babysitter may lose her sanity if one of them has a complete meltdown for a few hours or refuses to go to bed. Even if it's a family member, I call or text within 10 minutes after we leave so that everything is ok.

Since Bean joined our family, I insist that there are two babysitters with the girls, especially if we get home after they are in bed. Bedtime can be crazy when it's just me so I do not expect someone else to go through it alone. Strength in numbers for sure.

I also leave very detailed notes. I mean, the kind that include the time of when things might occur, the food available in the house to eat, the bedtime routine pretty much step-by-step. (Ridiculous, I know.) For example, my note might say, If Noodle says she is hungry when getting ready for bed, ask her if she wants a drink of water. If she says yes, then just go in the bathroom and fill a Dixie cup with a small amount of water. She does this to stall the process. 

My antics are quite embarrassing.

I am fairly certain I have made family members feel incompetent with my notes and play-by-play. I don't mean to be offensive. I am just reminded of that terrible babysitting experience each time we leave our kids.

When I am (usually) typing out these notes, I think to myself Have I gone overboard? Generally, the consensus is yes, but then I recall that stressful and anxiety-filled evening, and power through the note-taking. In the event something were to set one of them off, the babysitters will appreciate my notes. And if they don't need all of the details, then I will be a proud mom because that means my kids behaved pretty well!

In all seriousness, I plan to have fun tonight, but that doesn't mean I won't be checking in with the babysitters a few times this evening.

Sami

Product Recall: Infantino Baby Slings

More than 1 million Infantino baby slings have been recalled by the Consumer Product Safety Commission. CPSC urges parents to stop using them on infants under 4 months due to possible suffocation in the soft fabric. Three infant deaths last year are linked to the Infantino slings.

The recall includes the "SlingRider" and the "Wendy Bellissimo" carriers sold in the United States and Canada.

For more information, please read the article by the Associated Press.

I will try to post recall announcements as often as I can. Please share this information with your mom friends.

Sami

Book Review: Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference

Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference isn't a new book. In fact, it's 10 years old. But, the premise of the book is still very relevant. Had I not read this book, The Mom would not exist (well, at least not now).

In this best-seller, Gladwell discusses social phenomena, such as the regain in popularity of Hush Puppies shoes, the decline in New York City crime, teenage smoking prevalence and teenage suicide patterns, through "word-of-mouth epidemics." He discusses how the tipping point for each phenomenon is reached once a large portion of society behaves in such a way that the world is forever changed. It is when a behavior or idea hits its critical mass.

Gladwell introduces other notions, such as "The Stickiness Factor," which is when a message influences (or "sticks") with a group of people or a population which causes them to act in a certain way. His theory is that social epidemics exist because of three types of influential people - Connectors (those who bring people together), Mavens (those who share knowledge with others) and Salesmen (those who persuade others). While discussing these social personalities, Gladwell uses interesting stories and entertaining anecdotes, such as the success of the children's show Blue's Clues, the actions of the influential historical figure Paul Revere and the rise and decline in popularity of the shoe company Airwalk.

The reason I chose this book to be my first review is because it inspired me to start The MOM. For about a year, I had contemplated starting a blog about motherhood (see my Welcome from a few days ago), but needed a little nudge. Earlier this year while in a search for a good read, a friend recommended this book to me. As I read through the chapters, I started to see the world and social popularity in a different way. When Gladwell went into great detail to explain the social personalities, I saw where I fit into the puzzle - my interest to host a form to discuss topics related to motherhood (Connector) and to share my thoughts, opinions and recommendations with others (Maven). Bingo! This book gave me the confidence to move forward. It illustrated how I could serve as a Connector and Maven in a larger role to bring mothers together to share information and experiences.

As briefly discussed in the second publication of The Tipping Point, I believe social phenomena take place more frequently than they did when this book was published due to technology, specifically the Internet. Ten years ago, social media hadn't gained its popularity. Blogs, Facebook, Twitter and My Space were in their infancy, if even yet developed. Going "viral" hadn't yet been discovered. And a "YouTube Sensation" like Susan Boyle was a thing of the future. Technology has taken "word of mouth" to another level.

In my opinion, today's society social epidemics are more prevalent but still follow Gladwell's concepts. The difference is that in some cases they take less time to reach their tipping point. The Internet has accelerated the process in many ways.

(January 5, 2010 - ABC's Katie Couric interviews Malcolm Gladwell. He discusses The Tipping Point and his other three books.)

So what does this have to do with motherhood? Good question. I think it helps us explain the world in which we live. The world where we raise our children, nurture our relationships and marriage and discover our roles in society. Mothers are an important part of social phenomena.

The Tipping Point is a fascinating, intelligent and thought-provoking book for all ages. In addition to Gladwell's social concepts, he shares a wealth of information, stories and history lessons that will appeal to several audiences. This book will change the way you see the world from personal and business standpoints. I feel like I am a smarter person having read this book. It was definitely time well spent.

Sami

Night Owl Mom + Rooster Daughters = Rough Mornings

My daughters wake up early every morning. I know it's not good to use absolutes, but in Noodle's 3 years of life, I can think of only one time she slept past 8:00 a.m. (You get my point.)

Bean is under a year old so maybe she will surprise me and sleep in later as she gets older. (Doubt it.)

Noodle wakes up anytime between 5:45 and 6:30 a.m. ready to seize the day. She is always smiling and now has learned to hand DH and me our eyeglasses so we can see her clearly and share in her morning joy. She is ready for breakfast as soon as she wakes up - she literally drags us out of bed. (Pathetic, I know.)

Never would have thought MY children would be roosters! I am most productive at night. I love to stay up late to finish a good book or surf the Internet. In college, I pulled all-nighters more than I should have. Growing up, I always slept in late. I attended afternoon kindergarten for this very reason, and frequently missed Saturday morning cartoons. (At some point I will have to explain to my kids that Nick Jr. didn't exist when I was young.)  DH on the other hand is a "morning person" but even he can't get over this phenomenon.

I have tried everything to help the situation.

We have maintained the same bedtime and nightly routine since she was about 6 months old. (Bath, books and lullabies.)

We tried putting Noodle to bed later in hopes that she will sleep in later. Didn't work. She still got up at the same time and was cranky and tired the next day. (Backfired miserably.)

I read books that told me to put her to bed earlier because she may actually be overtired, which would explain the early rising. Didn't work. She woke up even earlier those mornings.

So, I have come to the conclusion that my daughters are roosters - plain and simple. They love to get up early and start the day off with a bang!

I, on the other hand, struggle every morning.

But, I am very thankful for coffee.

Sami

The first post is probably the hardest....

Welcome to The Mark of Motherhood (The MOM)! I am very excited to get The MOM up and running. The purpose of this blog is to discuss various topics and issues related to motherhood. I have envisioned this blog for more than a year so I am keeping my fingers crossed that it isn't a complete flop!

I have found it difficult to come up with a great topic or story for my first post. I have several ideas but I keep telling myself I'll use that one later.... It isn't a good first post. As you might imagine, I am putting a lot of pressure on myself (in typical mom fashion, of course)!

Well, enough of paralysis by analysis! My first post is going to explain the conception of this blog. It's always good to give followers some context and background. I will list just a few reasons for starting The MOM.

Reason # 1: I love blogging and I want to share my stories and follow other bloggers' experiences during this incredible journey called motherhood. Some of us have support networks among family members, friends and co-workers. I think an online network can be just as helpful to connect with other mothers. I believe blogs can offer honest discussion and insight, more than you might get from a friend over a cup of coffee.

Reason # 2: I want to serve as an informant and maybe sometimes an educator. I don't plan to give teaching lessons (well, at least not any formal ones)! Rather, I want to share information and news that I think are important for moms and women to know about. If I do go into a teaching moment, I'll try to make the lesson a little more interesting than the one in this clip from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Does anyone remember the teacher's name? Anyone? Anyone?

Just so you get the idea, I will share an example of me in the informant role...

A few months ago I was walking out of GapKids at our local shopping district when I saw a mom strolling her baby in a recently recalled Maclaren stroller. Maclaren recalled several models due to severing the fingers of at least a dozen children (Yikes!). I went up to the mom and felt pretty confident she was going to think I was a little crazy, but I felt compelled to say something. ...  

I am sorry to bother you, I said in a calm voice. I just wanted you to know, in case you aren't aware, that Maclaren recently announced a massive recall on their strollers. I don't mean to alarm you. I feared I was going to send her into panic mode.

She replied, Yes, I know. Our repair kit is on the way. Thank you.

Huh? I couldn't decide whether she appreciated my candid approach or not. As I reflected on her response while walking away, I felt dumbfounded as to why she knowingly had her child sitting in a recalled stroller. Perhaps she was the crazy one after all!

In addition, I have much to learn from my followers. This is why I encourage you to send me an e-mail or post comments. I love healthy discussion on various topics related to motherhood.

Reason # 3: I enjoying sharing stories (see above), attempting to be humorous, and recommending products, books and ideas with others. An example... After the birth of my oldest daughter, I did a lot of trial and error with baby products, parenting tactics and everything else you could imagine. When I found something I liked and worked for us, I wanted to tell every mom I knew about my discovery. Probably because I felt a sense relief, but I also wanted others to know about, what, I thought was, an incredible invention or approach. Often times I would receive enthusiastic feedback from my recommendations. Now when I have one of these exhiliarating moments, rather than contacting my rather small network of moms, I can tell all of you, too!

Well, there you have it! My list of reasons for this blog. I could go on for a while but I will keep it to three. I appreciate you making this far.

Thanks for visiting and I hope you stop by The Mark of Motherhood again soon!

Sami